We're Pregnant
by Eight Horcrux
Summary: Harry tells Draco that he is pregnant.


_Happy birthday to messers Fred and George Weasley. I hope this lives up to your standards and in favour of your memory. Happy April Fool's y'all! _

** We're Pregnant**

* * *

"We need to talk."

Draco fingered his position in the book he was reading and glanced up; a look of boredom had crossed his face, one that Harry knew was instinctively defensive.

"Something's happened; but don't panic!"

Draco tilted his head with confusion, eyes narrowing with question; _something's happened? _

"I took a test today."

Draco smiled. _Ah, makes sense now. _"Come here then," he said, extending his arms for Harry to clamber into. "I'll OWL Parkinson to arrange a re-test; some wizards need at least three goes before they learn to cross country apparate."

"Draco it's not that; it's…different."

"What's wrong then?" he asked, and Harry heard the undertone of concern beginning to surface.

Harry bit his lip; he opened his mouth to speak but found himself shutting it again with a disgruntled sigh.

"Tell me wha-"

"I'm pregnant."

Draco blanched. _He's…no; of course he's not. _"Could you say that again? I've misheard you."

Harry shook his head then and reached a hand out to grasp Draco's palm. "I'm pregnant, Draco…_we're_ pregnant."

"But you haven't…the potion…not possible! I bet it's those muggle apparatuses you insist on using; of course they'll lie to you. Get a healer to check!"

Harry sighed. "I've done that already," he said and began to unfold a piece of parchment. "Positive, positive, positi-"

"How?" Draco demanded to know. It's not that he wasn't happy; the idea would probably grow on him... They weren't ready for this; they were packing to move house, take a holiday, starting new jobs and finally _living_.

"Funny story actually; it's got a lot to with your godfather."

"Severus?" snapped Draco, standing abruptly and knocking his book to the floor. "He got you pregnant?"

"It was purely accidental of course," Harry explained. "We've been working on a potion and it backfired one day; he spilled it all over me of course and well…bob's your uncle – I'm pregnant."

* * *

"YOU!"

Severus Snape remained seated behind the counter of his apothecary; his head was bent over a tome and he held up a finger in a 'just one moment' manner. Customers often returned in a rage when they had misread instructions and ended up with less hair instead of more hair. He was used to their waffling; often times he signaled them to be quiet while he pretended to read, just to annoy them.

"YOU GOT MY HUSBAND PREGNANT!"

_Hmm, that's a new one, _he thought and nearly lifted his head in curiosity. _I haven't been accused of that one before. _

"Look up you fucker; don't pretend you don't recognise me!"

He finally peeked over the rim of his glasses, his eyebrows disappearing high into his hair when he saw the man before him. "Did you just accuse me of getting Harry Potter pregnant, Mr. Malfoy?" he asked in disbelief.

"Harry came home today with a tale," spat Draco; his hands were now flat on the counter, either side of his uncle, and a sneer plastered his face. "Want to know what he told me?"

"Did he remind you that you're barking mad?" Severus spat, leaning back in his usual condescending manner.

"He told me that he's pregnant-

"Congratulations."

"-and that _you_ played a hand in it!"

"You're nuts!" Severus snarled. He pushed himself upright, towering above the blonde man and sneered in his most threatening voice. "Whatever recreational drugs you and Potters pal's are availing of, let me be the first to tell you th-"

"APRIL FOOL'S!"

Both men swivelled toward the door, their wands positioned hastily near each other's throat. Harry stood proudly at the entrance, laughing heartily and pointing between them.

"You fell for it!" he howled, clutching his stomach and cackling madly. "I d-didn't think y-you would but _AHAHAHAHAH_." He clung to the frame for support, his already wild hair flopping with every hysterical jerk he made. He just couldn't believe they were that stupid.

Draco blinked; his wand still pointed at Severus' throat. _April Fools? What is this…_

"It seems that your _husband_ has played a practical joke on you, Mr. Malfoy," Severus hissed; he lowered his wand. "Get that wand away from my jugular, boy."

Draco scowled and shrugged. "Well then, in such case I would like to be the first to inform my husband that the joke is entirely on him." He pocketed his wand and crossed his arms, leaning against the counter and smirking over at Harry. "I'm pregnant, Harry. For real."

* * *

_Happy pranking y'all. Believe nothing and no one today; you aren't safe until midnight!_


End file.
